YouChapatiTube

Rookie Chef has been seeing a lot of improvement!

I've come a long way from running between the stove and the dustbin wid a burning, charred, non-palatable mass at hand! I can now make curries, pasta, rice etc which follow a typical add-this-to-that-mix-cook recipe pattern.

But the Indian staple food recipes like that of Paratas, Chapatis, Naan,etc still seemed as elusive as reading the sheet music of Mozart Symphony 40!

1)It read "knead the dough". Apparently not every Indian is born with an innate dough kneading knowledge.

2)Try asking a small provision store keeper for "whole wheat flour" and he will look at you like you just grew an extra head.. True Story!

3)"Add water slowly while kneading the dough." No! I'm not risking having a gooey mass that's going to be difficult to clean.

A friend of mine came up with an excellent idea- 

He suggested I look up recipes on YouTube to get the step by step DIY videos.

I found three very fascinating Chapati making Videos:

Vah Chef

Manjula's Kitchen
Show Me The Curry

I preferred the third video because they didn't have a funny accent like the first video nor did they keep saying "balls" like the second video. :P

So armed with my newly acquired rolling pin and new found knowledge that "whole wheat flour" is called Atta i set out to make Chapatis!! The recipe i followed is here.

Its surprisingly easy if you follow the video's instructions.

The end product did taste and mildly resemble Chapatis, if a lil too long-ish.. I guess time and practice should take care of that.

By the way, making Chapatis is a fun hobby! Mickey Mouse, Smileys, Heart and Hand shaped Chapatis were among a few shapes i've been trying out.

Have you?? huh? Have you?? :D

The Hungry Cook

I've never cooked before. Not until i got my own place and needed to be my own head chef. Hunger is an amazing state of being that makes you do things that you would have never pictured yourself ever doing.
Like Cook for instance!
My first attempt at cooking under no supervision whatsoever, was to make French Toast. Sounds simple in theory. Here is the exact recipe my mother wrote down to help me hone my culinary skills: French Toast
It sounds relatively simple. Mix everything. Soak Bread. Fry.
But is it really that facile for a rookie chef?

Roadblock 1:
The instructions said half a cup of Milk. Which cup!!??

Mayyyyybe i should pick the big one..just in case..

Roadblock 2:

Do u recall the first time you broke an egg? Apparently just the right amount of force does the trick. Not too much not too little. Who would have guessed that i was bordering on the stronger side!? *thump..crack!.."OOPS!"..*

Do i really have to clean it Now??!

Roadblock 3:

On tasting the milk-egg-rose essence-sugar mix, it wasn't sweet enough. So another spoonful of sugar went in along with two more drops of rose essence. Big Mistake! I didnt account for the sweetness of the bread.

A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down..

Roadblock 4:
Soak the bread..for how long? Oh well, i just let it soak for 5min or so.. In my defense, the phone call i had to attend right then seemed pretty important, irrelevant if the matter of discussion was a typical Who-said-What.
Apparently  if you leave the bread to soak for a long time, it breaks into tiny bits.. yeah, who knew!?

Roadblock 5:
I take the pieces of bread (they can't be called slices anymore) and drop them on the hot frying pan with oil. I leave it for awhile to get well done. Next thing i know, there is smoke and the unmistakable smell of charring food!

Nope.. Definitely was the bad kinda burnt.. 

..not the I-Just-found-Jesus kind!

Roadblock 6:
Quickly flip the pieces after scraping them off the bottom of the pan. Flipping the slices over if not done right can lead to further breaking of these slices/pieces of bread into smaller bits.

Roadblock 7:
The dexterity with which one heaps all the bread bits (from slices to pieces to bits) onto a plate is unfathomable. 75% landed on the plate while 30% met the floor and the rest 5% just refused to leave the pan.

After this entire process of French Toast making, which involved too much milk, too sweet, bread soaked too long, erratic frying techniques what i got was a rather odd product.
It looked like Scrambled Eggs and tasted like Bread Pudding!

But it sure as hell wasn't FrenchToast!

......hmm.....hey......not bad.......YUM!

Cheers!!

Alcohol is such a funny funny thing! It has the ability to make you laugh or be laughed at..the line separating them consisting of something as small as a pinch of salt, lime wedge and 30ml of Tequila.

So here's my tried and tested guide to keep one on the more socially acceptable side. A List of Do's and Don'ts.. What mixes and what doesn't..

What Works:

Alcohol works best with:

• Good Music
• Good Company
• At a house party/club/pub
• On a train/bus/car(unless you're the one at the wheel)
• Before a concert
• At a concert
• After a concert
• While catchin' up with Long lost friends
• To get the creativity flowing before song writing, painting, etc
• Cakes (especially Rum)
• When your stuck indoors cos of rain
• Celebrations
• On Movie Nights
• On Ladies' Nights
• Karaoke Nights
• Boring Lectures

What Doesn't Work:

Mixing Alcohol with the following is Never a good idea:

• Church, temple and other places of worship
• Phones (especially when you still have your ex's phone numbers)
• Dance floors..unless you think that flailing around like your hair is on fire is awesome
• Empty stomachs (learnt that the hard way!)
• Open spaces without any Lean-able surfaces like walls, pillars, tall speakers. Exceptions can be made if you are in the company of Tall strong people
• While conversing with bouncers
• Reciting Traffic rules to a cop
• Alcohol groups are racists! Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, Gin, Beer, Brandy, and almost every type of spirit NEVER settles well when it meets other spirit types in your stomach at the end of a night.
• Classics like "I'm too sexy","Its raining Men","Lady Marmalade","Because i got high" and so on
• Friends who arent as wasted as you are
• Cameras of any sort
• On a blind date
  
  
  
  
• High Heels and Slippery Floors..OUCH!
• Moments you think you are SuperMan or WonderWoman
• Box of Matches. Worse when that is coupled with Insecticide Sprays
• A big wallet
• A small skirt
• While trying to find directions
• While trying to convince people you "really reallly reallllyyyyy aren't duck..dunk..DRRRrrunkkk"
• While updating your Blog....Oh F**k..!!
  
  
  
  

All You Can Eat

Buffet- 
 1.Noun.a meal at which guests help themselves from a number of dishes and often eat standing up
2. Verb.to contend against; battle.
3. Noun.a violent shock or concussion.

Really??!! My scrumptious meal shares its name with battle and concussions??! Yikes..! 

I'm just kidding people. I love buffet dinners way too much to give 'em up. Love every stage of it! What stages? Ok, let me explain.

Stage 1- Anticipate

Transit to the restaurant on an empty stomach. Growing more hungry by the second. See the doorway from a distance-the only thing separating you from ALL that glorious food!!

Stage 2- Aggregate

OMG!! Dude.. So Much food!!

(@Restaurant owners in Chennai- Take a hint from the above pic)

"I want that.. and that.. and that.. oh and That.. definitely that.. hmm..should i take that..?.. Oh what the hell lets take it and save another trip back... Damn, no more place on this plate for more food..*sigh*.." Finds place to sit. Looks at friend's plate. "Damnit I shoulda taken that too!!"

Stage 3- Attack!

The Stage where all of us think we're Man Vs.Food Contenders

Dive into the food with the aggression of a savage! Test the maximum volume a fork can carry and your mouth can contain. Random sampling of every item on the plate. Is this why Buffet meant battle?? lol.

Stage 4- Adequacy

That's just Ketchup on an Egg... Or is it?????

Start to absorb the surroundings and adapt. Make conversation. Have a good time with the people around. Now is when you actually start to absorb the taste of your food. It's no more just a mad dash to the finish. Happy with the food you've eaten. Maybe go and take a 2nd or 3rd serving.

Stage 5-Abundance

So much food left on the plate. With every passing bite, the food somehow gets more difficult to eat. Why do my Jeans start to feel so tight? Is it just me or is the food on my plate increasing in quantity? One more mouth.. You can do this.. One more.. Oneee... Argh!! NO MORE!! Throw fork down!

Stage 6-Aftermath

Can somebody carry me home?? Somebody..?? Anybody..??

Damnit!! Gotta get up from this chair and leave. I still didn't have the Pudding. :( Next time for sure..! Walking just seems like SO much work right now. If only I could Teleport myself back home like in Star Trek. STUFFED!! Is this why Buffet meant violent concussion!? No.. Not funny! Swear never to eat so much again..Ever!! Happy nevertheless.

Such are the 6 Stages. Once you get over the weird feeling of Stage 6 and a few days down the line, someone says something that has all or most of the following words- All you can eat, Buffet, Sausages, Burgers, Meat, Pasta, Dessert, Pudding, Yummy, Today.... Hmmm... 

Oh well, Here we go again!!

Campus Chef

A typical day's Hostel Mess Menu:

• Sambar that tastes like water
• Rice that's as dry as uncooked White Oats
• A Vegetable turned into an incomprehensible blob of green/ red/ yellow
• a dead Spider or two

The hostel kitchen defied every rule of a Health Inspector. My hostel kicked it up a notch by hanging a sign that read "Things That Taste Bad Are Good For Health." Everyone dreaded the Mess food. Within a month of joining college we all found solace in the private run mess outside the campus. On days where the hostel served nothing but rice and cabbage, business thrived in "Andhra Mess" and "Suguna Mess".

We later started to break rules. We bought small Induction Stoves and began experimenting with  our Cooking skills! I learnt to prepare a perfect Cup-O-Noodles! For lack of anything to eat it with, Puttu (a Keralite dish) was prepared and eaten with mutton pickle, Cornflakes with Maggie taste-makers and mutton pickle. Chappatis with mutton pickle, "Instant Ghee Rice" with mutton pickle and Sandwich spreads consisted of well, more mutton pickle. This trend continued...till the day one of our friends brought Fish pickle and another cycle ensued!

I heard that the girls who never left the hostel have now bettered their culinary skills. As for me and cooking, I'm still the Cup-O-Noodle connoisseur! 

Foodaholic Chronicles

I love food! What better way to revere the passion than to make a blog about it!?


Food Moods vary. There are days when i pick quality n others when quantity becomes a priority. Days when I'd long for rich creamy lasagna, days when i need Rs.30 Beef Fried Rice and other days when i dream of a more exotic cuisine like an Octopus Salad...


Mood Foods vary too. One can celebrate with some Tenderloin Steak in red wine and mushroom sauce. Or mourn the day by sitting at home and watching a sappy mush movie while polishing off a box of Chocolates.


These are my Foodaholic Chronicles!